Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Is this funny?

Do you remember we went to a wedding in mid March this year? My DIL took this photo of DH and SMIL. About a week later he kindly forwarded the photos he took to the rest of the family to keep everyone in touch. It was a small wedding & therefore not everyone could be invited. Soon afterwards I received this from my SIL's DH (my BIL but not dear "Uncle Dorian" of layout fame...) It was about the same time that this was posted onto BIL's FACEBOOK WALL!!!

I left a comment under it, on Facebook, saying "BTW that was in Joburg & did you know dad has just joined Facebook?" Dad being both of our "dad-in-law". He had not just joined Facebook. I just said that to give BIL a little "skrik" (fright) & perhaps set the wheels of thought into motion as to whether this was really an appropriate photo to be showing on a rather public platform. My thinking was that it was inappropriate because it was disrespectful of my SMIL, who is well into her 70's & suffering from Alzheimer's disease. She used to be an immaculately groomed woman. Now she is still elegant & refined. I KNOW that she would NOT have found this funny some years back, when she had the wherewithall to fight back.





I discovered some weeks later (not being a daily FB user...) that BIL had deleted me from his Friends list. I was searching through my Friends list to send him a birthday message. I double & triple checked...yup, no longer "friends".... I sent him a birthday message care of my SIL instead. Since then I have e mailed her twice (with regard to other matters) & casually mentioned that I would appreciate it if BIL could please contact me if there was a reason for deleting me, as I suggested that it was perhaps accidental??? No comment. We still communicate regularly (my dear SIL & myself) but my query just does not get mentioned.

This week (Monday) I sent BIL another friends request. I included a message - something along the lines of "Hi BIL! I see that you have deleted me off your friends list. Was this perhaps accidental? If not could you please be kind enough to let me know the reason." I don't think this is unreasonable. After all we are "family" so we can't ever really be rid of each other permanently. We are both outspoken, but I am prepared to agree to disagree on certain matters.

Not only have I waited over 2 months for an explanation (since the beginning of the whole affair) but the saga continues...BIL decided (very soon after my comment & subsequent boot into cyberspace...) that DIL SHOULD join Facebook! As DIL (& SMIL) spend part of their time in the same country & province as BIL (& SIL!) , BIL got DIL all registered & set to go on their next dinner get-together. Oh, and apparently showed him (& her I presume...) the photo on his wall (wonder if my comment was still there or if he had removed it...) Apparently DIL laughed. I heard this via SIL. Personally I can't invisage DIL laughing genuinely (IOW finding it genuinely amusing) to have his wife compared to this


but, then again, I could be wrong! Perhaps it is truly hilarious to have your ailing wife compared to Ghandi...

DIL has since required help, which I have given him, with FB, as he was writing messages intended for personal consumption only onto people's FB walls. He had not been shown where the inbox was. Need I say more? Naturally I am slightly apprehensive regarding this post, hence the many weeks of delay. I was hoping to have some light thrown on the subject by BIL but it seems that my questions are going to be left unanswered, so I can only presume that it was NOT an accident & that my comment was the reason. Do you think that my comment was harsh/too harsh or not harsh enough???!!! Do I need to grow a sense of humour? 'Cos you know, I really thought I had one, I just thought I was supposed to use it to laugh WITH people & not AT them.


7 comments:

topkatnz said...

Well that all sounds VERY complicated ... your comment doesn't seem offensive in any way ...???????

Vicki said...

I'm thinking I'm glad I don't know anything about facebook and might just keep it that way. Have to agree with Heidi on this one.

Stefanie said...

Doesn't seem tasetful to me.
Your sense of humour is fine!

Jenny in Durbs said...

Your comment was not offensive & quite frankly a caption like that would have offended me if it was my mom or mil. Still it takes all kinds (family or not.) I did have a lovely surprize my DD bought me your kit from Frances F is for Father.(She said it caught her eye straight away.) Really looking forward to doing it just have no time - will post it once I have done it (probably August LOL). Have a good week.

Lynette said...

I don't like it if people laugh at others expense...I think your comment was mild...I would have probably bonked him over the head!

Family affairs are never simple...are they?

jax said...

Oh dear! you just have to feel sorry for some people - your BIL has lots to learn! Fortunately for him I don't know how to get hold of him or I'd let him have much more than a piece of my mind - horrid little man. SMIL looks precious!

Helen Tilbury said...

LOL! I suppose I'll never know his reasoning...some people are so tricky...they can dish it but they can't take it ;-D I think Facebook is for people who don't blog...I suppose it could work well for people with a large extended family that all got along, with no nuts, don't think there are any of those around though! Jenny I am SO excited to hear that! It seems so weird that people are actually buying kits that I designed... Very surreal ;-D I would LOVE to see yours when it is done. It uses up alot of photos but as you see they are printed quite small. I loved how that layout turned out. Just sad that I have to wait 3 months to post the layouts I do for Reminisce onto my blog, as I am scrapping my little heart out but can't show you guys!!!