Sunday, 21 June 2009

Camryn Georgia Tilbury is growing up...




Here she is at eight. She informs me that she looks waaaaaaaaaaay older at nine, LOL! Good thing I don't think like that at my age!! We had a lovely day yesterday, despite my mind reeling with thoughts on my last post & my cell phone beeping regularly with everyone's "2 cents worth" coming through on my e mail! Dunno why people use that expression, because your opinions are like gold to me - worth far more than 2 cents! I have been umming & aahing about this whole blogging lark for the last few weeks & it's crossed my mind (more than a few times) to just pack it in & live in the "real" world. I've decided against that, you'll be glad (I hope...) to know.

I like Blogland. Heck, I LOVE Blogland. What I HATE though, is having to explain to people what it is all about. Not sure if I am the only one with this particular problem, but it is tiring & makes me feel unworthy & stupid, and I hate that feeling ;-( I want to be a good (read "great") ambassador for the virtues of the Internet, but in particular blogs & blogging, but people just DO NOT get it. Their eyes glaze over & they change the subject at the first available opportunity. I find it soul destroying. I sway between not mentioning I have a blog at all to thinking that I should be more open about what I do with my time, to people I think will care...

The reaction never changes though. It's a bit like trying to explain "born again" Christianity. You end up feeling like a freak!!! If anyone out there has an off-pat answer for me I'd love to hear it, because I really would like to know how to respond when asked "what I do" as I want to include blogging in my answer. After all, it IS a big part of what I do! Anyhow, that's an aside, I was meant to be talking about Cami (poor girl...)LOL She was an "accident" - what a happy accident she turned out to be...I can't imagine life without her OR life without 4 kids. People are always absolutely aghast that people still DO have 4 kids in this day & age, but really, I can't imagine NOT having them. It is obviously difficult financially, but perhaps they get "saved" from a lot of stuff they're best off without anyway...

The way we bring up our kids is in direct contrast with how we were brought up. I can honestly say all I ever learnt from my parents was how NOT to do it. Our children are not allowed to fight. They all get along very well as a result. Of course they have their bickerings, as do we (dh & I) I'm talking about the stuff that turns into simmering resentment which results in my scenario - an older sister come half-witch that gives me alopecia whenever we are in the same province! Parents aren't responsible for everything their children do/don't do - I know that - but childhood is such a formative time & trying to undo the "wrong learning" is a life long task that I don't want my kids to be burdened with.

We also believe in being "hands-on" - not that we have ever had a choice. We have never had the luxury of grandparents that lived in the same country. Well, we did have it once, when the older two were little, but they were NOT the hands-on type & have become even less so since they moved away. Kids are hilarious people to hang out with anyway, so I love being with them in any case...We have always talked to our children like normal people, not embiciles, and as a result they have a fantastic vocabulary & are all free-thinking, mature individuals. I also don't believe in being overly domineering as I am forward-thinking enough to realise that they will be choosing my old-age home,LOL!

I think having our kids young (26 - 32) was a really good decision. We have "grown-up" with our kids & now see the struggles friends & relatives have, having "sown their wild oats" a decade too long & got used to their independence. Trying to cope with babies & toddlers should not be on one's agenda after 40, for your own good! I realise though that some people don't have a choice & sometimes things in life don't always pan out in accordance with one's plans. I just feel blessed to have that major part of my life behind me now. I am so glad that I am not independent. That whole line is just a lie. I love being inextricably linked to a bunch of other humans, after all, all that counts at the end of the day is if you have loved, and I sure have!


6 comments:

Michelle Ramsay said...

We also had our children young 22 and 28 and spoke to them like humans and were quite open. We have a great relationship and they often enjoyed going out with us - Leanne and I regularly went to movies together before she moved overseas. Grant and I cook together. Regarding the blog - those that want will read it if you tell them about it, but there are some that will find every reason not to read it with some arb excuse. Don't stress about it - I certainly don't, but it is there as my diary of what is going on and what gave me the inspiration to write a post.

topkatnz said...

I don't tell non-internet people I blog, or many non-scrapping people know I scrapbook ... I don't feel I am hiding ... I have many facets to my life and I do not believe that my hobbies define me ...I do not expect people not involved in particular parts of my life to fully understand my interest in them-I have been there myself ... to me that's fine, as we are all different, and that is often what makes us interesting ... I do however, refer to my internet friends as friends ... where-ever their location... I think of you all as pen-pals and the world is small, and I hold on firmly to the hope that one day we indeed may meet ... but even if not, the conversations, help, caring and sharing to be found online is real and palpable to me ... in ways my online friendships are deeper and more honest than other day-to-day aquaintance type friendships I have ...
Happy Birthday Cami ... I was always disappointed when I awoke on my birthdays as a child cos I never seemed older, and somehow I felt my birthday should 'mark' me in some way ... LOL ...

Helen Tilbury said...

I know it shouldn't worry me but it does. Particularly the family (extended...) especially in the case of Africans, where we are all flung over all the continents as a result of Zimbabwe's demise...just shows that they don't really care or they would work it out...they claim they can't blog - but are you telling me they never Google anything??? Same diffs - not brain-surgery, and I would persevere if it meant getting to know my "loved ones" better, LOL! Heidi, I so admire that everything is always so clear cut for you. I ponder things way to long & find it hard to come up with a clear cut solution altogether on certain issues. I don't have many facets to my life because there isn't much time to be involved in alot of different pursuits for me & I made a decision 6 years ago to just stick to scrapping 'cos I used to do a gazzillion crafts & I wanted to "specialize" & try to become a master of one. If I refer to you all as friends, which of course you ARE, I get told that you are NOT based on the fact that we have never made eye-contact or shook hands...incredibly sad mentality but that's the one!!!!

Lynette said...

I also had mine very young...I was only 19 when Kobus Jr. was born. I have never been sorry about it. I love my kids to bits...and now my grand bambinos as well. And I am young enough to jump and run and enjoy the little ones.

jax said...

We have the "best of both worlds" as we had our 2 children when I was in my 20's and our 3rd was born just before I turned 40! We CHOSE to have him and what a huge blessing he is in our lives. Absolutely couldn't imagine life without our awesome gorgeous little boy.

Helen Tilbury said...

Hi Michelle, you know I am also beyond caring about who reads my blog. I use my hit counter to gauge the hits I get, because I find it interesting to see...same with the clustr map & Live Traffic Feed. I am way more interested in connecting with other scrappers all around the world than having acquaintances read my blog. If they don't scrap I don't expect them to want to wade through it. I am bitterly disappointed in my family (extended) that not one of them has ever bothered to visit & leave a comment. Actually ONE did visit but claimed she didn't know how to leave a comment...However, I can live with it as generally it is indicative of their lack of effort anyway. The thing that really gets me is the inability the majority of people have to relating to the appeal of blogging. I'm not asking them to follow my blog. I'm just telling them about it (if they ask what I do) because it is a big part of my life & something that makes up part of who I am. Most people just look at me sideways so I may just have to come to terms with keeping it a secret activity, LOL! Heidi - I think you are right yet again...if only you were closer we could go out for coffee once a week for my weekly therapy session LOL! Shane reminded me that, before I blogged, I could not relate to his relationship with Fiona, his "pen-pal" that he has now known for 7 years & never met, yet they MSN each other daily from his office, because they share an interest in music & are both fanatics. Now I DO get it & regard her as a friend to us all (she is always sending me & the kids cute little goodies from England)& am so happy for him that he has someone he can talk music too. Someone better than me because I way prefer silence,LOL! Heidi I LOVED the list you sent me of all the other things I do & definitely want to scrap it one day & you & I WILL meet one day. You, Vicki, Jenny & Sandra have all been fantastic ambassadors for your country &, from having NO interest in NZ I am now just wanting to pack my bags & emmigrate! My world knowledge has improved a hundredfold since my blogging hobby started. Jax your little one is one of the sweetest kids in the world - I also can't imagine your lives without him ;-D