Sunday, 24 May 2009

People never cease to disappoint...




Well I haven't had a dreary post in quite some time now have I? So today is as good a day as any to have a good old whinge...


Sadly, my day has NOT gone from strength to strength as Stefanie had hoped, but rather has got me getting glummer & glummer...Soon after I posted my Gratitude List I had an"incident" with a troublesome person. Sod's law that is... As blogs are public domain I can't go into more detail although, believe me, I would love to,lol! (that's a sick type of lol, IUKWIM???!!!)

Firstly, it just got me thinking about how ungrateful & insensitive people are and secondly, how it is so easy to be judgemental - yet the ones that love to hand it out are always the ones that just can't take it...quite funny really. Lucky for me one of my strengths is my sense of humour & my ability to laugh at others (when necessary, although I prefer to laugh with them) but some people really cannot be taken seriously...Before anyone takes offence I laugh at myself all the time. I have been in some very serious situations through the course of my life & if I had not developed this defence mechanism I wouldn't be the cheery person I am today.

I've learnt over the years that everyone is different - we've all come from a different "place" & are on a different journey - one that often no-one else has any idea about - so I try to be kinder than necessary & to build up rather than destroy. South Africa is full of talk about Christ-centred lifestyles but there aren't a lot to be seen. There's a lot of lip service being paid but very little dying to self out there sadly. In fact, Christianity for some here is definitely more of a fashion accessory, which is disturbing. At the end of the day the proof of the pudding is in the eating & there's alot that's inedible believe me! Blab all you like about what a fantastic Christian you are if you can "walk the walk" all the time, but otherwise, shut up & let your life & your actions do the talking. We all fall short at times, so what? Give your compatriots a break - who can be perfect all the time??? NO earthly being that's for sure...Humility wins over Pride in God's book - just sayin'. Quite frankly, if you criticize others about the very thing you yourself are guilty of then you are making an idiot out of yourself & people WILL laugh at you! ;-D

Something I am good at is processing information & compartmentalizing it speedily. I don't have time to deliberate for long so am not generally a procrastinator. I prefer to make the wrong decision than no decision at all. I have talked to a few people about my issue, which I believe is essential in bringing clarity - although obviously your choice of person is crucial as it has to be someone you can trust & not a gossip-mongerer. (It is also Scriptural - "wisdom is found in the council of many"). I have decided that this weird state of affairs (with the person concerned) has gone on for too long & that it's best to give up on it. Yup, that's the advice I'm giving - sometimes it's actually not worth persevering anymore. You can't change people. God can but you can't. I "do my best to live at peace with all people" but sometimes my best just ain't good enough! So goodbye to "so & so"...I've tried to enrich your life & find the good in you but the digging has exhausted me! ;-D (this is me just rambling...the person in question is not a frequent visitor to my blog & may indeed never get to see this - but you never do know who your "stalkers" are out there do you now???)

Next up - Reilly's football match today. They lost 5 - 1. No problem. They are the D team after all. I dropped him off & left to do the grocery shopping, followed by breakfast in a coffee shop with my smallest treasure (Cami). A giant choc-chip cookie for her & some delicious fruit salad & Bulgarian yoghurt for me & I was quite back to normal & ready to take on the world again. I returned to collect Reilly, only to discover that their match had been delayed & they were only half way through the first half. It was fortuitous (or rather, God driven) that I got there "early" - or rather, that they were very delayed - as I got to watch most of the match & listen to the "team-building" pep talk by their coach, during half time.

Reilly has been "complaining" for weeks about the negativity of his football coach & it has been an issue of concern for me. As Shane goes to most of the matches,(as opposed to me, them being on a Sunday morning & me usually having household chores to do & the two girls to look after), I have only witnessed the coach "in action" once before. At that match he was most vociferous but I was not privy to the half-time "team talk" itself. Well, I was shocked, to say the least. For once, words are failing me,LOL! Basically, he told them (all 11 years old & NOT football stars - being in the D team...uh, duh...) that they were "USELESS, a DISGRACE to their club & they should be ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES". Yes, those quotation marks are there for a reason - H.E. A.C.T.U.A.L.L.Y. S.A.I.D. T.H.A.T. and more...but you get the idea!!!

Then I had a proud mommy moment... Reilly was the ONLY boy - out of a team of 11 - to challenge him - he piped up - mid-rant - with "Well, we weren't really that bad you know" - at which point the A team coach (I didn't know who he was at the time) interjected with something along the lines of "yes, you're right Reilly" (he used to coach him so knows him as we have been with the same club for 3 years) "you guys just go back on out there & do your best like you have been doing". I was so happy & so sad at that moment, as it dawned on me that for 3 long months my child has been humiliated & degraded & I have done nothing to intervene, yet amazed & overjoyed that my boy had stood up for himself & his team-mates & was brave enough to speak out when others were clearly too afraid to do so.

BTW a quick "foot-note" here - Reilly is a complainer - we call him Eye - ore (sp??) as his glass is always half-empty so we have learnt to take what he says with "a pinch of salt" as it's (almost) never half as bad as he makes it out to be...

A long story cut short(er)...I spoke to the A team coach afterwards (hence I discovered his identity & his reason for being there today - to see for himself where all the complaints were coming from - ie; if they were valid). I gave him a piece (read measurable chunk) of my mind & told him that Reilly would NOT be returning, despite his LOVE of football, as I genuinely believe that he is being harmed & his self-esteem eroded & am concerned that his love of the game may be permanently soured. My concerns were met with complete empathy & compassion & as a result that coach was immediately dismissed (I suggested he apply for a job with Manchester United or Chelsea Football Club,lol!) One of the father's present volunteered his services until a permanent coach can be found. All in all, an amazingly positive result to a ------ awful day.


I suppose the moral of the story here is that there ARE good people in the world. Those that lift up rather than drag down, those that listen rather than enjoy the sound of their own voice, those that implement change rather than procrastinate & those that still believe in solid moral values rather than instilling warped values into impressionable young minds. Well, if you didn't make it to church today here endeth the sermon...heeheehee...


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9 comments:

jax said...

I agree, dispose of those who draw the life out of you and rather enjoy the uplifting company of the true gems in your life.

Michelle Ramsay said...

YEs, sometimes you just have to give up on certain people!!
Well done to Reilly for standing up - at least he will have a more positive coach and maybe the team will do so much better with his positive comments.

Stefanie said...

Wow, what a day.
I don't even know if I should be wishing anything for you for tomorrow.
hope Reilly enjoys his new soccer coach.
BTW I spell it eyeore but Disney spells it eeyore now- just saying.

topkatnz said...

well you have to spell it the disney way ... it's their character!!LOL ... Ashlee is just like that too ... always looking on the dark side of life ... don't ya just wanna kick their butts sometimes!!LOL ... your first philosophies are exactly right ... some people can only be happy when putting others down - you are much better off without them!!go you.

Vicki said...

Well that was an interesting post. Good for you and good on Reilly too. Hope you have a better day today and yay I can read and comment again. LOL

Jenny said...

Good on Reilly ... and you know how I feel. Stand proud - you don't need people like that

Sandra said...

Ditto what Heidi said above. I no longer leave room in my life for these type of people.

It is unreal that a coach said something like that to young kids. IMO, the role of a coach of a kids team is to encourage them, not put them down. Yay Riley for having the courage to speak up!

Jenny in Durbs said...

Good on your Reilly for standing up to the coach, what kind of person is coaching ?? And good for you for taking a stand - there are a lot of people who know & admire you - just get on with your life.

Desire Fourie said...

Helen, you are a sure inspiration and a role model when it comes to freedom of speech. I so agree with you about the Christianity issue being a mere fashion statement ... and believe that actions speak louder than words.
Its amazing how some teachers don't realize that every word spoken to children can make or break them for life. Glad your son stood his man ... shows from where he comes..
Hugs from Desire